I am looking out my living room window at the cement and tile high rise buildings that surround our apartment.

This was my living room view when I lived in Dashe:

I miss my old view.

I miss a lot of things, actually.

I miss seeing my sisters, Sara and Ashleigh, on a daily basis. I miss cooking meals for each other, playing with babies at their house, taking day trips or long trips together, and laughing the way only Hatchlings can laugh together.

I miss my friends from MAK. I miss seeing Cathleen every day in the ELL office next to mine. I miss dinners with the Muirs once a week. I miss adventures with Laura–night market outings, and dinners at Friday’s, and morning market shopping. I miss the hangouts with “all the single ladies” and the all-staff cookouts and events. I miss good conversations with people around school, those surprising little moments of connection. I miss the friends that became family because we had to and wanted to be that for each other.

I miss my wonderful students, especially the ones that I taught for multiple years and really grew to know and love. It’s difficult to invest in someone and then let go.

I miss the places that we ate out–delicious food at great prices, places where we painstakingly learned how to order and figured out what our favorites were. Our repertoire of restaurants took all four years to create, but it was so worth it. I miss the friends that we made at restaurants, especially my friend Ah Heng and her family at the tang bao place. Their little girl is a few months old now, and I’m not getting to see her grow up.

I miss my church that I found the last year I lived in Dashe. I wish I could have attended there longer and invested more. We’re starting all over again trying to find a church where we belong, and it is hard work.

I miss my parents, but I always miss them, every single time we leave America. The stay is never long enough. The visits with relatives always end too soon. I miss my cousins and aunts and uncles and grandmothers. A year is a long time to wait for another round of hugs.

I miss the friends that I saw over the summer and the ones that I didn’t. Friends who are having babies that will be six months old before I can see them. Friends who will get married while I’m halfway around the world. A best friend who I can never Skype with long enough or often enough. There’s not time to connect with everyone from way over here.

I miss just about everything.

I am homesick.

I guess that’s just part of the transition I’m going through. I have a new home, a new husband, a new name, a new job, and basically a whole new life. There are a lot of things that I’m enjoying about the newness, and I’m sure I’ll feel like celebrating all of that sometime soon. For now, I just miss home, and that’s all I can say. Part of transitioning is grieving for the things that have passed, appreciating and remembering the aspects of a place and time that was loved. My heart is missing Dashe and America and friends and family.

I’m praying that this new place will start to feel like home soon.

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