Restless Dreams

Recently, I’ve been having a recurring dream that I am going back to Asbury University as a graduate student. In the dreams, I am always rooming with one of two friends from my real Asbury days–incidentally both are named Sarah–in the regular undergrad dorms even though we are working on our master’s degrees. The weirdest aspect of the dreams is that though I am still married to Charles, for some reason (job-related, I think), Charles cannot move to Wilmore to be near me, and I spend the dream trying to reconcile deeply missing him with my desire to pursue further education. Another consistent and unnerving aspect is that a considerable amount of each dream entails unpacking, setting up the room, trying to fit everything into tiny closets, adjusting to college life, realizing I don’t have enough supplies, worrying about finances (those courses are expensive!) and feeling generally unsettled. After the most recent iteration of the dream, I woke up feeling confused about my whereabouts and about reality. Continue reading “Restless Dreams”

Fix My Gaze

Tonight, I need Jesus. I feel the ache of longing, of needing to belong, of reaching out to connect with Someone in this universe, of yearning to be covered by the healing balm of God’s love and peace.

I’ve always loved the poem, “A Noiseless Patient Spider,” by Walt Whitman. In it, the speaker captures what I believe is the cry of every soul: to fling out a thread (like the spider spinning her web) that will catch somewhere, that will bridge the gap from one heart to another, that will connect to something outside of itself in this world.

Continue reading “Fix My Gaze”