This is a little aside–no fancy formatting and no special photos. Just a few thoughts from me that I’d rather write on here than in a Facebook status.
If you read this, please pray for me. I’m feeling pressed down on every side, and though I’m trying to cling to the anchors that God has put in my life, I’m floundering.
I miss Charles. A lot. More than I can express. I’m sure some of you have been in similar situations, missing someone like this. It hurts.
I’m grieving. Grieving my impending losses. The loss of my community and town. The loss of singleness. The loss of my sisters and my “Hatchling” identity. The loss of a job I love and students in whom I’ve invested. The loss of familiar things and routines I understand. The loss of friends. I know that grief is healthy, and I need to face it directly. That doesn’t make it any easier though.
I’m dreading the transition. A crazy move. A whirlwind summer. New jobs, new community, new school, new marriage, new life, new everything. I’m tired already.
Don’t get me wrong–I’m SOOOO excited to be getting married! It’s just that there is so much between now and then. So very much.
One of my favorite verses in Scripture is Proverbs 19:21 which says, “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails” (emphasis mine). Once an English major, always an English major, right? I love the contrast between the words “plans” and “purpose.”* Plans are specific and are about the how. Purpose is bigger, and it’s about the why. I am a planner. I love a structured schedule and an organized plan. But “the best laid plans of mice and men go often awry,”** right? I’m so thankful that God’s purpose and plan is bigger and better than mine. Tonight, I’m clinging to the promise that His purpose will prevail.
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*I am no Hebrew scholar, but I do have access to Google and was able to find that the Hebrew words that are translated “plan” and “purpose” are indeed different words. That’s as far as my word study is going tonight, so please don’t take my commentary as an exegesis on the passage; think of it as a humble comment on the way the passage has impacted my life.
**from the poem, “To a Mouse” by Robert Burns
***Click to read other posts in my {Segue} series.
Peace Along the Journey 
I can remember getting married, moving, new church, new state, new friends, then 5 months later I was pregnant. I had no family around. I felt like everything I knew was being erased on a chalkboard…but now I realize that this process led me closer to my husband and to my child. God was creating something bigger than I could imagine in me…The loss I felt was being replaced with an outreach to others and burden to help other children. From the blogs I have read I’m pretty sure God is already creating that masterpiece in your life. Blessings to you!
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. One thing I love about the web is that it creates connections between people who have shared experiences. I look forward to experiencing all that God has in store for me. I’ll be checking out your blog and your story sometime soon too!
Christel you are an amazing young woman and I know that God has some exciting and new things for you and Charles to experience! We are praying for you and know that the Lord is working as I write this to comfort you in all of your “losses” and prepare you for all of your “gains”. Love you
Dear Christel, Well, my husband and your Charles are enjoying a little gaming right now in our Den :) He mentioned you had a blog and I hopped right on! I think you are right that there is both grieving and excitement in these days and it sounds like some similarities to our story of when I moved to SC and got married to David :) Anyway, just wanted to say hi and love the verse you shared as well. Blessings, Monica
Monica, so nice to “meet” you on here. Charles told me all about the gaming, and it sounds like they had a good time together. I checked out your blog too, and it’s a refreshing little spot on the web. I think I’ll add it to my feed reader. Thanks for reading and for the encouragement that you’ve been through something similar and survived it! Blessings to you as well.
Just seeing this now Christel. I love you, girl, and your sweet heart. I can’t imagine how hard it must be. Jim and I had summers apart the whole time we were dating, including when we were engaged. And you guys are on the other side of the world from each other. I have no great words, but I know God is doing a great work in you and he’s going to be faithful in completing it. Praying for you in these growing pains. Miss you tons. ~Lori